Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
