What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
