I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
