I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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