Just cropdusted the office
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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