I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
