school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
