atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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