This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
