i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
