Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My vagina is very pro this idea
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
