i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
