Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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