I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
