I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
