take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
