Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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