8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
