I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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