I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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