I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
