i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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