you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
