Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
