drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I smell like Dick and happiness
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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