I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Pants are for mortals
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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