she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
