Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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