the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
