his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
