dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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