Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
