I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
