I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
