i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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