Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
