we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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