Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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