I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Watching her eat just hurts me
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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