I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
