Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize