Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
