We won't sleep together?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
