Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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