So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
