"it" just moved
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
