I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
