oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
