What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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