Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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