Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
