My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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