Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
