she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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