Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize