I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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