I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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