yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize