So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
