so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
